The latest research finds children need access and relationships with both of their parents. I will say that again — children need access to meaningful and healthy relationships with both of their parents. How, as lawyers, do we facilitate that? It’s super hard. I know I’m not alone when I say that, when I work with my clients, I talk to them about their kids, reminding them the children belong to both of the parents, working to get them to focus and focus and focus on their precious little children who don’t have the ability to make decisions for their lives. We look at what resources we have available to us in this adversarial construct. Domestic violence family protection orders. If violence occurred within the last 180 days and a client is at risk, getting a restraining order may be appropriate. The tough call for lawyers is a restraining order will not prevent someone intent on causing harm to stop. However, it does potentially provide an important level of protection. With Jesus, whose father kidnapped his mother, a Oregon Family Abuse Prevention Act (FAPA) order was in place at the time. Also, in place was support from a victim advocate and safety planning from a domestic violence resource center. Parent coaches. If we have a parent who is just not focusing on the child, getting that parent a coach can do wonders with helping them to reframe how they interact with the child. In Jacob’s case, a parent coach for his mother could have worked wonders. Her disdain for his father led her to make decisions like trying to keep Jacob from going back to Israel. This not only hurt her son immensely, but also damaged their relationship moving forward. That case particularly haunted me because the attorney representing the mother was very entrenched and would not facilitate effective support for her. I have had other cases where my client received coaching which has allowed them to process their negativity and move past it as the family heals. It is amazing to see the resilience of parents who seek out and receive support. Therapy Pushing the parents to get the child into therapy and to get into therapy themselves, can be immensely helpful. Children often need a safe place to share what they’re going through. For Julie, not only did she need intense therapy and support, but the rest of her family needed support too. A children’s therapist can be very helpful in guiding the parents to see how their actions impact their children. Where Julie is struggling with drug addiction and living in a therapeutic setting, her sister Mary benefited from having a safe place to share. Mary sharing how the conflict between her parents was the root cause of her anxiety moved the parents to focus more on her needs while Julie was working on recovery out of state. Custody evaluation. Sometimes a custody evaluation by an expert who will come in and analyze all the aspects of the family in order to determine what is in the children’s best interest is needed so arrangements for custody decision-making and parenting time can be determined. “Pushing the parents to get the child into therapy, and to get into therapy themselves, can be immensely helpful. Children often need a safe place to share what they’re going through.” Protecting Vulnerable Childen continued from p. 43 44 Trial Lawyer | Summer 2024
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