Breaking the Silence: Divorcing Women Take a Stand Against Domestic Violence in Civil Court by Lake Perriguey, OTLA Guardian Vashti Millefuegos, a very educated and professional woman, loved clothing. She had been the same size since high school and amassed a collection of contemporary and vintage clothing. Her collection favored French and Italian designers. She even had a vintage 1965 Emilio Pucci stewardess uniform designed for Braniff International Airlines. Vashti Millefuegos was married to Howard Millefuegos. They lived, unhappily, in a leafy Portland suburb with their two children and a Labradoodle. Howard Millefuegos lost his job. Actually, he was fired, in large part because of his volatile temper in the workplace. He did not leave it at work. Millefuegos was often, though unpredictably, emotionally volatile and cruel in his actions toward his wife. He never physically hit her, so she held out hope that one day he would go to couples counseling as he promised. Maybe now that wasn’t working, he would no longer use the excuse he was too busy and actually call the counselor and set an appointment. The couple enjoyed the first week of the kids’ winter break and Vashti Millefuegos was looking forward to working on their relationship. They were going out on their first date in months, a New Year’s Eve party at the home one of her co-workers. At the party, Howard Millefuegos became upset with her when she had a second glass of champagne, envious of her ability to let loose while he was anxious about being unemployed. He left before midnight. When he got home, he texted Vashti Millefuegos and told her the kids were in bed, the sitter had gone home, and he was removing all of her clothes and putting them out onto the driveway. She called her husband, pleading with him not to do it as it would alarm the children. He hung up on her. Millefuegos called an Uber and headed across the bridge. When the car rounded the corner of her street, she saw the bright light emanating from her house before she saw the flames. He torched her wardrobe. Vashti Millefuegos contacted me, and we immediately filed a dissolution case seeking custody and asking the court to establish a parenting plan. Howard Millefuegos hired a lawyer, choosing a law firm with sexist advertising that fills the radio waves with proclamations that they are lawyers “for men.” The only significant marital asset was the equity in the house. Her clothing collection had some value, but that was gone. She had a claim for marital waste within the divorce due to her husband’s intentional destruction of marital property. For most of Oregon’s history, state law required a party provide evidence to establish the grounds for a divorce. The pre-requisites to obtain a divorce included cruel and inhumane treatment, adultery, felony conviction and impotence. In 1972, the Dissolution of Marriage Act abolished fault related to the grounds for a divorce in favor of “irreconcilable differences that have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage.” There is still no right to a divorce if both parties simply want to be unmarried without a factual allegation about how it cannot be remedied. Along with abolition of fault as grounds for divorce, the new statute limited the evidence a party could bring into court about the wrongful conduct of the other party. The limitation on evidence of a spouse’s wrongdoing, including abuse, survives today in ORS 107.036 (2): “The court shall not receive evidence of specific acts of misconduct, excepting where child custody is an issue and such evidence is relevant to that issue, or excepting at a hearing when the court finds such evidence necessary to prove irreconcilable differences.” In other words, Howard Millefuegos’ psychological abuse against his wife and the trauma she endured was barred by law from introduction in the divorce court for any purpose other than custody and parenting time. LAKE PERRIGUEY handles domestic relations, civil rights, and intellectual property cases in state and federal courts. He contributes to OTLA Guardians at the Sustaining Member level. Perriguey owns Law Works LLC in Goose Hollow at 1906 SW Madison St., Ste. 201, Portland, OR 97209. He can be reached at lake@law-works.com and 503-227-1928. See Breaking the Silence p. 22 21 Trial Lawyer | Summer 2024
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