30 Trial Lawyer • Spring 2024 Reflection Continued from p 29 asking me for legal advice for the mere fact that it was free. They were asking me because they knew that I knew them. I already had many of the intimate details of their lives regardless of not having intimate details of their legal problems. Intimacy. Or as I heard a mental health counselor put it once, “Into me, see?” Intimacy. The ability to validate and affirm another person’s feelings while being receptive and careful with the vulnerabilities around those feelings. Intimate vulnerability I thought back to my friends and relatives on that day. What might a legal clerk think of my wild-haired 85-year-old grandfather who emigrated from what is now known as Syria when he files a grievance against the city in his own handwriting? What additional obstacles might Black parents uniquely face in the courtroom when the subject of discussion is their fitness as parents? How do students of color get the adequate educational supports they need without first being disproportionately funneled to the school-to-prison pipeline? What happens in a Black woman’s heart, mind and body when she is fired for spotlighting the discrimination and wage-theft she’s experienced in her workplace but grew up bombarded with racist “welfare queen” tropes? If I, or any attorney can’t identify and explore these types of questions with our clients, how can we fully and authentically represent them in the ways they need us to? The final piece of the answer then slipped into place. “I wish I would have known how intimate the attorney-client relationship must be to help provide clients the information they need to understand and prepare for how the legal system may treat them differently based on who they are.” Attorneys must learn the ways in which racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia, ageism, xenophobia and other forms of oppression create real and significant vulnerabilities in people that are often exploited, amplified or dismissed by the legal system itself. In short, racism and other forms of oppression interfere with the intimacy in the attorney-client relationship that is often necessary to solve complicated problems. As attorneys, we must question and interrogate how we participate in the legal system and keep it running as it continues to have disparate negative impacts on marginalized communities. This is how we can immediately lend energy and effort to increasing “access to justice.” Attorneys practicing that level of self-interrogation can help create the visibility and validation needed for intimacy in the attorney-client relationship to exist. We must continue to grow in both our understanding of the law and how it impacts the people we serve. We arrived at our destination and made last-minute preparations for the conference. I saved some of my own selfreflective work for a moment later when I would have a little solitude. When I finally had time that day, I wondered if the hundreds of legal conversations I’d ever had with my family and friends helped them in their situations. I took out a piece of paper, wrote a question in a black marker and tucked it away in a drawer. “What’s one thing you’ll know about yourself in 2033 that you wish you would’ve known in 2023?” Rakeem Washington is a former child welfare and juvenile defense attorney. He currently works as an instructor in Portland State University's University Studies Program. He also is co-owner and facilitator with Engage to Change, an organization that provides anti-racist trainings, strategic planning, and facilitation to individuals and organizations. His office is located at 643 NE Jarrett St., Portland, OR 97211. He can be reached at 503-516-2790 or rakeem@engagetochange.net.
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