10 Trial Lawyer • Spring 2022 By Shangar Meman OTLA Guardian “The untrained mind is stupid.” – Ajahn Chah The “why.” Not the “what.” Let’s face it —we lawyers are skeptics and the “why” is much more interesting than the “what.” Not long after lockdown began, mindfulness and mental health suddenly became priorities. Prior to the pandemic — at least for me — they were not. I rarely, if ever, took the time to pause and be mindful of the present. I subscribed to the fast-paced life and the belief that open days meant wasted days. The more commitments, the better was my motto. And then came March 2020 and a wholly unprecedented global challenge. Disregarding my mental health was no longer an option. In fact, my mental health had to become my number one priority. Shortly before the pandemic, I got married, became a stepmom of three, and switched to the plaintiff side of the bar. It was a lot of change. I struggled to adjust to my new normal. Then came COVID, and, suddenly, there was no such thing as normal — anywhere or for anyone. The first three to five months of the pandemic were rough for me. I was experiencing daily panic attacks, insomnia and anxiety. The world felt like it was crashing down. The closest I had come to feeling like this in my life was as a child — in Iraq — during war. As toilet paper aisles were being scavenged in Portland, I was worried about a more dystopic future, where food supply was scarce and humans savagely and ruthlessly attacked one another to survive. Ridiculous? You tell me. Then, in summer 2020, I watched OTLA’s first virtual conference. One of the speakers touted the benefits of reading “The Body Keeps the Score” by Dr. Bassel Van Der Kolk — not only for lawyers, but for clients who had experienced trauma. So, I bought the book (the Audible version of course). I wanted to understand why my brain was leading me down dark paths. The book was as Shangar Meman good as advertised. At its suggestion, I began taking daily walks and focusing on my breathing. Through doing various exercises, journaling and self-application, I came to learn the pandemic had triggered unresolved trauma within me. I needed to pause, take care of my mental health and dig deeper into my experience. Why am I sharing all this? Because trauma, anxiety and depression are extremely common, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Most of us have struggled with or are struggling with mental health, which puts us in a dark place that seems impossible to get out of. The “what” The concept of meditation and mindfulness is not new to most of us. If this is new to you,meditation is simply breathing techniques utilized to pause and focus. Easy, right? Not for most of us. Our lawyer brains are trained to race at all times. We have this voice in our heads that fixates on things and often robs us of the present moment. I make to-do lists in my head before I sleep. When I wake up the next day, the to-do list is the first thing I think about. I know I am not alone in this. Our world is a little chaotic. It is extremely easy to live in the past or worry about the future. How nice would it be to tune all of that out and have some peace? That is what meditation does. It allows you to pause Meditation for Lawyers
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