NAFCU Journal July August 2021

13 THE NAFCU JOURNAL July–August 2021 Index toAdvertisers AdvantEdge Analytics Website: www.advantedgeanalytics.com ....... 9 AI Oasis Phone: 888-227-7967 Website: ai-oasis.com . ........................................ C3 Allied Solutions Website: alliedsolutions.net ................................ 7 AWS Website: aws.amazon.com/npo ........................19 Franklin Madison Website: franklin-madison.com .......................... 4 Gallagher Website: www.nafcu.org/gallagher ..................41 Origence Website: origence.com/bebold ........................43 Q2 Website: q2.com ................................................... C4 TruStage Website: cunamutual.com/auto .......................49 are interested in their perspective and that it is safe to share their concerns or disagreement. Use I-Statements One of the most potent ways to deal with difficult conversations is to express things in a nonconfrontational way by using I-Statements. Let me give a few examples, and then I will explain this tool in more detail. Wrong: I don’t think you care about this topic. You are not engaged at all. Right: I might be wrong, but it seems to me like you’re not fully engaged, is there something here you disagree with? Wrong: You have no idea what you’re talking about. You are completely wrong. Right: I listened to you carefully. How- ever, from my point of view, I’m not sure I agree with you. Let me share how I see the situation. In the “wrong” instance, you tell some- one else how they are thinking or feeling, which is something you can’t possibly know and typically leads to the other person defending themselves and arguing with you. In the “right” instance, you tell people how you are thinking and feeling, which they can’t argue. I-Statements are assertive without being aggressive. It is a way to engage people without making them feel attacked. It’s hard to talk about the hard things, but they need to be put on the table and discussed if there’s any chance to fix them. I hope you take these tools and practice them. I’m confident they will create a more robust, open, and frank communication style within your organization. John Spence is an international keynote speaker, executive coach and organizational trainer who has been helping credit unions for more than 15 years.