42 Flock Around and Find Out Hello! My Name Is ____. By Rhonda Payne, CAE My organization has done a great job at becoming more diverse. There are all sorts of people from different backgrounds on the team, in our membership, and applying for jobs. My problem is, I can’t pronounce all these ethnic names. What should I do? —Tongue Tied Let me stop you right there and offer up some tough love, Tongue Tied. The issue isn’t that you can’t pronounce these names—it’s that you haven’t put in the effort to do so. Pronouncing someone’s name correctly is a basic form of respect, not a special favor. It shows you value that person’s full identity. Let’s break it down. When you say a name wrong—or worse, don’t try—it’s not just about the sound; it can communicate disrespect, lack of care, and exclusion. It’s a microaggression that left unchecked will sabotage your diversity efforts in the long run and make it hard to maintain the progress you’ve made in centering DEI principles within your associations culture. And here’s something to keep in mind: names aren’t just arbitrary labels. As the author Elif Shafak wisely said, “The name one receives is more than an identifier; it is an inheritance, a gift, a story, a dream.” In other words, a name carries a personal, cultural, religious, and family history that deserves to be honored. All Names Are Ethnic One common misconception that may be causing your discomfort is the belief that some names are “normal” or “neutral,” while others are “ethnic” or “foreign.” Here’s a reality check: all names are ethnic. Every name comes from somewhere. Some names may feel “normal” if you and the other person have a shared background in terms of language, culture, and/or ethnicity. Similarly, some names have been internalized by many as more “American” because those names of European or Anglican origin like “Jennifer” or “James” have been centered and normalized as the standard in many spaces in the United States. Neither of these reasons actually hold up under scrutiny, and other names you don’t personally have affinity with are no less valid, important, normal, American, or worthy of learning to say and spell correctly. The problem isn’t that the names are difficult; it’s that you’ve gotten used to certain names being the norm. Why Names Matter: Beyond Pronunciation Names are the first entry point into someone’s identity. They’re often the first thing you ask about when you meet someone new. A name mispronounced repeatedly, avoided altogether, or simplified for your convenience signals a lack of care. Over time, that takes a toll. Research shows that name-based bias can impact hiring, promotion, and leadership opportunities. One famous study found that job applicants with “White-sounding” names like Emily and Greg were more likely to receive callbacks than applicants with “Black-sounding” names like Jamal and Lakisha, even when their qualifications were identical. Other studies show the same kind of trend for Asian or Latine sounding names. The implicit bias people carry toward names can create real barriers to equality. But the issue goes beyond the workplace. Imagine attending meetings or social events where your name is said incorrectly over and over again. That kind of ongoing microaggression sends a message: “You don’t really belong here. You’re an outsider.” On the flip side, when someone makes the effort to learn and pronounce your name correctly, it opens the door to connection, trust, and belonging. It’s a small act that can have a big impact. Common Excuses— and Why They Don’t Hold Up 1. “I’m bad with names.” We’ve all heard this one (and let’s be honest, many of us have used it). But being bad with names isn’t a valid reason not to try. We remember what’s important to us, and people’s names should be at the top of that list. 2. “It’s just too hard.” Sure, some names are more difficult for you than others. But difficulty doesn’t excuse a lack of effort. Use phonetic spellings, practice in your head before a meeting, or ask the person to correct you when you get it wrong. Better yet, take a few moments to watch YouTube videos or language resources that break down common name pronunciations from different cultures. 3. “I’ll just give them a nickname.” Many people feel tempted to shorten or “Americanize” names that are longer and more unfamiliar to make it easier for themselves. But here’s the truth: nicknames aren’t a substitute for respect. Sometimes a person may even FLOCK AROUND AND FIND OUT An advice column dedicated to unpacking the nitty-gritty of terms, ideas, habits, and theories that threaten to trip us up on our association leadership journey. Q A
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